Once again, I would like to begin by quoting some of the handbook materials. In step six we recognize that good intentions or willpower are not enough to completely eliminate our weaknesses. Only God can fully change our character and our heart. We are in a partnership with a Power greater than ourselves. Our role in this partnership is to accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all, and become willing to let go of all that stands in the way of our health and growth. The discovery of who we really are leads to a change of heart and prepares us to become willing to let go of those areas of our lives that are interfering with our growth and happiness. However, condemning and shaming ourselves is counterproductive to growth and happiness. To begin this process we must humbly ask to be shown what God would have us see. See ether 12:27. We gaurd against making excuses or rationalizing our weaknesses. When we realize how our weaknesses are negatively impacting our lives, we gain a desire to let go of them. When we become entirely ready to have God remove our weaknesses, we will see significant change and improvement in our lives. The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of transformation. It takes us as men and women of the Earth and refines us into men and women for eternities.
Now for my personal experience with this. It is hard to be shown weaknesses! I hate to admit weaknesses and know that I rationalize a lot before I finally admit. I have tried taking the advice from the handbook that says I should try to notice how negative behaviors or thoughts impact me in a negative way. Sometimes this takes a lot of time and pondering before I see it. Sometimes the Lord shows me at the perfect time and I see Weaknesses quickly and with full force. Either way that it comes, it is hard to face and there is a real emotional pain with it that I don’t know how to describe. I usually have a war within myself when I realize a weakness. First the war is about accepting it and not rationalizing and then second accepting it, desiring to change it and not severely beating myself up for it. Honestly, it is emotionally draining and sometimes I get irritable and tired of the battle to overcome and be better. BUT, it is worth it. As I begin to see changes in myself it is a big self esteem booster as I see myself doing things I did not think were possible. It is rewarding to feel that accomplishment inside. I also develop a much greater relationship with my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, which is priceless and the way my faith and testimony is strengthened is well worth the price paid. There is yet another reward, others seeing changes in me. My husband tells me frequently how he is watching me become a new person and how he falls in love with me more everyday. Family members express what an example I am, etc. I don’t say any of this to toot my own horn but to demonstrate that people notice, we influence many people around us and when other people notice it is yet another reward for the hard work.
I must add that it is very difficult to desire the changes and be willing to work for it and have prayers answered when I focus on my husband’s problems. The Spirit is not as strong for me. So I have had to change my focus for me to have a change of heart and at the same time miraculous healing occurs. It is not that I am ignoring my husband’s issues but my perspective changed and truly healing happens.